5 Ways Parents Can Help Their Teens Develop Resilience and Grit
As teens navigate their academic, social and home environments, they are going to encounter both opportunity and challenge. Opportunities for success may include new relationships, positive performance in school, self-discovery, identity formation, and engaging in activities outside of school including sports and the arts. Challenges may include conflict with peers, (poor) performance in school, self doubt, conflict with family and a lack of resources (i.e. financial, emotional and physical). What separates those teens who are able to overcome these challenges from the teens who seem to struggle? Research indicates that the teens who are able to cope with and overcome these challenges have developed resilience or grit. Parents and family members are in a unique position because they have the ability to positively impact the development of resilience or grit in their teen. Below are five ways in which family members can support their teens develop resilience:
Engagement with school
The school environment provides so many opportunities for teens to experience success and feel connected. If students have a teacher, counselor or other school staff member with whom they connect, they are more likely to attend school, seek help, and perform well academically. Additionally, most people benefit from being a part of a community or a tribe. When teens feel a sense of belonging, this can function as a curative factor that may help mitigate symptoms of depression and anxiety. In teen counseling, we work with teens to identify concrete action steps they can take to find their community within a school.
Positive relationships with peers
When teens have positive relationships with their peers, they are more likely to have positive self esteem and self worth. The reality is that while many parents value being a resource for their teen children, teens relate well to each other and they are often more willing to explore challenges with their peers. Peers often have great ideas and suggestions for how to navigate life’s problems. In teen therapy, we discuss the power of peer support and how to go about developing relationships with peers.
Problem solving approach
Life during the teenage years can seem like one problem after another. For some, this may feel incredibly overwhelming and it create a feeling of paralysis by analysis without any real action. Support your teen with helping them develop a framework to assess a problem, explore possible solutions, identify resources needed and then take action. If your teen believes that he or she has a process for solving a problem that actually works, self efficacy will improve. In teen counseling, we work with teens to develop a framework that works for them.
Experience failure (aka learning opportunity)
Failure is a reality of life. We have all been there to experience failure, both small and large. As a teen, failure may seem catastrophic and it can really derail progress toward a goal or achievement. Equip your teen with a belief that while failure is possible, it also represents an opportunity to learn and grow. Some of the best entrepreneurs and successful people in the world have failed, only to come back stronger and better quipped to overcome obstacles. Experience with failure may also necessitate some parents to take a step back before they intervene. In teen therapy, we explore how to re-frame failure so that it doesn’t feel so threatening and we can use it in a way that feels empowering.
Talk openly
The more parents can model good communication, the more likely it is that their teens will be willing to explore their challenges, have language to describe their obstacles and feel validated and affirmed when they are having difficulty. Parents who are willing to be vulnerable about their own emotions and struggles will connect more easily with their teens and subsequently give their teens permission to openly explore their challenges. In teen counseling, we practice these communication skills so that teens feel more confident about how to communicate with their parents.
Teens who feel connected, who have positive relationships with peers and friends, who have a framework to solve problems, who can learn from failure and who have the space to openly explore their struggles can develop resilience and grit. Resilience and grit are the secret sauce to resolving complex and everyday problems that affect teens throughout adolescence. Family members and parents are in a unique position to recognize if their teens have a resilience abundance or deficit. If there is a deficit, consider exploring these five tips with your teen. Remember that teens have the ability to overcome their obstacles and problems; sometimes they need a little guidance, nudge and support.
Teen Counseling in Cincinnati, OH 45040
If you are a parent of a teen and your teen seems to be struggling with overcoming obstacles, your teen may benefit from teen counseling and therapy. At Launch Point Counseling in Mason, OH, north of Cincinnati, OH, we work very closely with teenagers and their families to overcome obstacles. To learn more or schedule an intake appointment, please contact Launch Point Counseling or schedule an appointment today.